Fattening others

Whats it like never having a girlfriend?

I think you can certainly fantasize about fattening someone without their consent but putting into practice is both difficult and I'm not sure it would provide the satisfaction of when they know you are fattening them.

Obviously I'm coming from a D/s context, but part of the role play could be a person's decision to make their partner fat / to be fattened by their partner and to have no hand in how much or when that decision is made.

Speaking as a Domme who made such a decision, the crucial thing is to not fatten your partner when they have expressed outright rejection of the choice. If, however, you're in a relationship and they say something along the lines of, "If you wished me [ to be fatter ] that choice is up to you" then I think they have given their consent to be fattened "with/out permission".
Unless you're getting into a relationship and they have mentioned feederism or something like it before, I would say, even as a Domme, that doing it without some kind of consent is abuse.
Whilst D/s relationships can be complicated, I think feederism can fall into a similar path. The distinction between "consent" and "abuse" can be blurry, especially to the outside.
To any feedees, I would support any kind of verbal "I give you consent to..." and for feeders I would encourage any kind of verbal "I want to..."
Sometimes these can decrease the spontaneity and fun, but it is always important that both people are ultimately happy about their relationship.
That's my cheesy take on it.

I think enabling is a very good compromise between being sneaky and adding hidden calories and discussing everything.

Once my wife started to overeat again I told her I like her fatter. She had something like "I'm never going to be big again" but afterwards has done nothing to maintain that. She eats the snacks I get her, she will often ask for meals and snacks that aren't diet-level.

Now, these past 2 years, my whole food planning around her is aimed at consistent weight gain. She sees she has gained, and says she doesn't want to get heavier, but will give in to temptation time and time again.

I think that kind of enabling and manipulation is real fun, real satisfying, also because you see her weakness in defending against it.

Same with my wife. She'll say things like "I can't get any bigger than this, I'm watching what I eat now." But then an hour later she'll say "Man, Burger King sounds so good." She knows I'm a feeder and knows exactly what she's doing. It's then fun to see her laying amongst a spread of fast food trash in a food coma and ask her "Are you still watching what you eat?" 🤔

I enjoy the times I say things like "you ate so good today, you should buy yourself something as a reward"

I like it that she's not shocked but just asks how much she can spend

Yep! She’s watching it go right into her mouth! haha!

This is the logic of rapists and child molesters.

That makes what he said sound very dark and almost singularly bad.

Maybe it's more along the lines of "this is also the logic of rapists and child molesters"

Just because something looks like something else doesn't make it equal to it.

I'm not saying stealth feeding is as bad as rape or child molestation. I'm talking about this particular argument in its favor. It's the same argument a rapist or child molester might use and just as morally bankrupt.